Friday, September 1

Something to Think About

"I really used to think I was going to reach my goal
I really used to think I was going to be that person that I'd always wanted to be
I really used to think I'd be me no matter what
I really used to think that when I fell in love I'd live happily ever after...
But lifes not like that and life is certainly not going to change for me.
I guess I just always thought that I'd be ok, that I'd always be loved and no-one would ever try to change me and that no-one would ever make me cry.
But again lifes not like that.
I find it a struggle just to get myself to sleep at night and waking up in the morning is twice as bad.
Some mornings I lie there and just wish that I hadn't woken up because I know that today is going to be just like the one before...
A struggle, a constant struggle because no matter how much I want to be strong and not cry I just do anyway.
I really used to believe that nothing would remove that smile from my face, that giggle in my voice, that warm feeling in my heart and that sparkle in my eye.
But I was wrong and the sad thing is... I can't change it and I can't stop it.
But... do you know whats worse? Given up, I now accept crying and breaking down and being confused as a part of life... a part of MY life...." - S.M. 2005


Blogger Ilmarinen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:15 AM  
Blogger cvow said...

Markus, you have many, many friends out here. Do not ever forget that.

I support you and applaud your courage.


2:03 PM  
Blogger Tomte said...

I didn't find Simply Me's poem to be that depressing --although it does describe a dark reality.

In my own life I've sometimes found that the "dark night of the soul" is the precursor to a spiritual breakthrough.

I hope it turns out that way for you, Markus. :-)

6:56 PM  
Blogger itdoesn'tmatterwhoIam said...

Homosexuality exists in humans. So choosing to either accept or not accept homosexuality is making a choice to either accept or not accept humanity.

5:46 PM  

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